"True Apothecary!..."

Poison is the order of the day. Perhaps the most famous literary poisoning is that of Shakespeare's Romeo, who, upon hearing that his beloved Juliet is dead, buys poison and then drinks it himself. (Little did he know that she was only feigning death - but thats what happens when you jump the gun.) I love the way that this scene is portrayed in 'Shakespeare in Love' by Gwenyth Paltrow. The film really does capture the whole 'play within a play' thing.

 "O true apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die."
Romeo and Juliet (V, iii, 119-120)


 Poison has been a popular murder weapon and suicide method throughout history, and 'Romeo and Juliet' is just one example. Other notables do, of course, include Hamlet (Not only the poison in the ear, but the poison-dipped dagger/sword used by Laertes..), Madam Bovary, and more recently films such as 'Casino Royale' and 'Chicago'.

In  'Casino Royale', 007 James Bond is poisoned during a game of cards, and when having tried drinking some water he still cannot recover and begins to go into cardiac arrest, there is a panicked phonecall back to headquarters in which he is instructed to use the supplied self-defribulation kit to restart his heart. The music in the background adds to the suspense and had me gripping the edge of my seat:


 As I think we have discussed in the seminars, poison has become the most frequented murder weapon of women in particular. Whether this is because, stereotypically, women have easier access to the food that the murder victim would be eating, or because it is simply easier on the conscience to put a few drips of poison into a drink or plate of food than it is to pull the trigger on a gun or physically stab a person, I do not know. But as famously stated by one of the murderesses in Cook County Jail, "Some guys just can't handle their arsenic". One of my favourite musicals (I'm a bit of a musical junkie - my iPod is full to the brim of musical soundtracks - some of which never even became popular in England) is Chicago. In particular, I like the 'Cell Block Tango', and no - not just because I learnt the dance back when I did ballet/jazz:


This is an excellent song to listen to when you've just broken up with your boyfriend, or found your husband cheating or have any reason to feel murderous. (Lets face it - 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. ' Bonus points if you know where that came from.) I find the song just encapsulates everything that Rita, the heroin from Devil's Food featured in my previous blog post, must have felt - only she got away with murder.

Unquestionably, my favourite poisoning in modern literature happens to be the accidental poisoning of Ronald Weasley, in J.K.Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

"Ron had dropped his glass; he half-rose from his chair and then crumpled, his extremities jerking uncontrollably. Foam was dribbling from his mouth and his eyes were bulging from their sockets...[he] twitched and choked: his skin was turning blue." (Rowling, 2005: pp372)

Poor Ron suffers one of the most unlucky birthdays at the hands of Rowling: First, he unwittingly a few Chocolate Cauldrons spiked with a particularly potent love potion which were in actual fact targetted at Harry. (That's where greed will get you.) Then, just as he sobers up from his brief infatuation with (previously unknown) Romilda Vane, he is subject to a very near fatal poison, originally meant for Professor Dumbledore. (Although this is not revealed straight away.) Luckily, Harry is quick to act, and manages to find a bezoar - a stone found in the stomach of a goat which will act as an antidote to almost any poison. As if his coming-of-age could not get any worse, he then accidentally murmered Hermione Granger's name whilst in recovery, instead of his then-girlfriend, Lavender Brown's name. This, as you might imagine, caused some friction between the pair when he was fully recovered.

My conclusion for this post, is that murder is either a weapon of desperation and/or lack of resourcefulness, for example, the desperate housewife situation. Or, it is a sly, hidden way of committing murder - a coward's way out. (Sorry all you Draco lovers - he was never going to get the..ba-...guts to do it properly!)



Devil's Food.

This post is rather delayed in its publication, due to having problems accessing my blogger account. (I didn't realise that changing my email password would also change the password for blogger.com, too.)

I read a delightful little short-story called Devil's Food, which is available for download on Kindle at: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Devils-Food-ebook/dp/B006VOKFS6/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1333375057&sr=1-3 for as little as 77p.

Piper Downs writes the story from a third-person narrative which follows very closely the thoughts, feelings and actions of the female protagonist - a typical American housewife by the name of Rita. Rita is unhappily married to her husband. As much as she enjoys to cook and eat healthy food, she is limited to preparing specific dishes and deserts which her husband dictates. All of these are ultimately fatty and unhealthy. On Sundays when he is watching the football, for instance, he will have a bowl of freshly made popcorn smothered in fat. When her husband finally suffers from a heart attack, he asks her to help him live a healthier life by preparing salads and low-fat meals. Full of bitterness and resentment, Rita formulates a perfect murder which, if successful, will allow her to cash in the hefty life insurance policy taken out by her husband early on in their marriage.

I won't completely spoil the rest of the story - it's a delightful read, but I will provide this excerpt, from the final paragraph.

"A Devil’s Food cake waited for her by the door, a thoughtful gift from a neighbor to a grieving widow.  She considered smashing her head into the cake but instead took it inside, grabbed a fork and started gorging herself, cake crumbles and frosting spitting out of her mouth while she sobbed hysterically. "
Downs, Piper (2012-01-09). Devil's Food (Kindle Locations 200-203).  . Kindle Edition.

I read this short quite early in the semester, and then promptly forgot about it until we had that seminar on...I think it was 'The Edible Woman?' The scene at the end where Marian baked a self-portrait cake and, having first offered it to Peter, claiming that that was what he was really after (a physically edible woman) she then proceeds to eat the majority of the cake herself. The rest of the cake is finished off by Duncan, the grad student with whom Marian was having an affair. This self-canibalism, for lack of a better word, is somewhat disturbing but reminded me of the way in which Rita devoured the devil's food cake.

Both these stories made me consider what is in a name. I made my own 'Devil's Food Cake', according to Mary Berry's Ultimate Cake Book, pg 36. I should mention here that I am not naturally gifted at baking. I was highly jealous when I saw Thoiba's Hansel and Gretel cake, on the 4th March - Simply amazing! I'll have to try that for my niece's birthday.

Anyway, the recipe I followed called for:
  • 50g cocoa
  • 225 ml wter
  • 100g soft margarine
  • 275g caster sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 175g plain flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon bicarbinate of soda
And for the yummy American frosting:
  • 450g caster sugar
  • 135ml water
  • 2 egg whites
And the instructions, in note form (because I can't figure out how to scan the page in as I would have prefered...):
  1. Pre heat oven to 180 oC/ 350 oF/ Gas Mark 4 and prepare baking dish with greaseproof paper.
  2. Whisk the cocoa in to the water until smooth (take a sneaky taste test here.)
  3. Place the margarine in a seperate bowl, gradually whisk and add the sugar bit by bit, until mixture is light and fluffy.
  4. Add th eggs and lightly whisk until evenly blended.
  5. Sift the flower with baking powder and bicarbinate of soda + fold into creamed mixture. (Mary Berry said you should alternate between adding a bit of the flower mixture and then a bit of the cocoa/water mixture, but I really couldn't be bothered and my arm was aching at this point, since the electric whisk packed in earlier that day when my mum made soup. So instead, I added it all together and made my arm hurt even more. )
  6. Put the mixture into the cake tins, amking sure both are even and level.
  7. Bake for about 30-35 mins. (Mary Berry didn't account for the poor people who would be using fan assisted ovens. You can guess how mine came out.)
  8. When the cake is well risen and firm to touch, remove from the oven and allow to cool completely on a wire rack. (I used a chopping board, for lack of a wire rack.)
  9. To make the frosting, place the sugar in a large heavy-based pan with the water and heat gently. You're aiming for the sugar to dissolve in the water, but don't let the water boil until the sugar has dissolved completely.
  10. Then, bring to a boil, and boil to 115 oC. (I had no candy thermometer, and the soft-ball test usually used in sweet making(like fudge or toffee) wouldnt work here, so this was purely guess work for me.)
  11. Whisk the egg whites until stiff.
  12. Allow bubbles to settle, and then pour the hot sugar syrup on to the egg whites, whisking constantly.
  13. When all the syrup has been added, whisk until the mixture thickens and stands in 'peaks'. You'll know it when you see it - and it'll be very heavy work.
  14. Sandwhich the two halves of the cake together with some of the frosting, and then use a pallette knife to spread the remainder on the top and sides, creating an awesome spikey affect.
  15. Leave to set in a cool place, out of the reach of cats and dogs and nieces, nephews, fathers, boyfriends, or any female relatives who are on weightwatchers.
Now my cake, as you will have guessed, came out burnt. Perhaps with a little forethought I might have reduced the oven temperature, or set the timer to go off five minutes earlier. In any case, it tasted bitter like charcaol. The frosting turned out okay, but not as sweet as I am accustomed to. My mum then came into the kitchen, dipped her finger in and licked it, saying "Oh dear, you added the ingredients too quickly. Nevermind. Next time." It was at this point that I gave up on the cake. I didn't even bother putting on the white chocolate buttons which I had bought to decorate it with. Instead I put the whole cake in the food recycling bin, and satisfied myself by baking a Betty Crocker devils' food fudge cake. This turned out perfectly, despite only having two eggs instead of three. The frosting was divine. My boyfriend and I consumed the entire thing watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.